This has to be one of the hardest things I have had to do write about my sons life
and death. My husband has always been the one to write about him on our last
website but I think it is now my turn. He has done so much for us and now I would
like to do this for him since I know how hard it is and like always we are a team.
Here is the story of our son and baby brother.
Wyatt Johnathan Darrin Prince was born November 13, 1997. My pregnancy
with Wyatt was good. I was gestational diabetic so they always checked me. We
did know that Wyatt only had one kidney but people live with one kidney so our
son wouldn’t be able to play football or contact sports but he could still be a true
Raider fan with his daddy, sissy and me. They did check his heart we went twice
but our Wyatt probably didn’t want us worrying through the pregnancy for every
time they would go to check he would have his hand over his heart. They had me
in all different positions to try and get him to move it but we feel like Wyatt
wanted us to have a worry free pregnancy or he could be like his mommy and
just be stubborn.
It was during one of our trips to the ultrasound for his heart is when we decided
on his name. We had stopped after the appointment for lunch and we started
looking at the baby book and saw Wyatt (it means little warrior) that was it we
were done. Little did we know then how perfect it really was cause he ended up
living up to his name. He fought and used all his warrior strength to be with us.
We have him two middle names Johnathan after his daddy and Darrin after his
uncle and godfather. Let me tell you though the name Wyatt brought on a lot of
conversations. One of his aunts use to say Wyatt sounds like you are asking a
question (Why It?)
We were really excited about having another baby since it took us six years after
our daughter Alexis (Lexi). Lexi it had to sink in a little for we always told her she
was going to be the only child now we are telling her she will have a brother or
sister. The family was all excited and we just needed to prepare to start sharing
our love for another child one that was well worth the wait.
It was so nice to have my husband home for the full pregnancy for when I was
pregnant with Lexi he had to leave to Iraq. He was in the Marines and left to Iraq
right before the first war started. He came back four days after Lexi was born
thank god for my family being there to help me and my sister in the delivery room
with me. This time he would be able to experience it and I would have him there.
What an experience he had.
I was so scared to go through labor again. Lexi was 9lbs 11 oz and I didn’t want
to push out another big baby but Dr. Saracco said if I could have one big baby I
could have another. Oh I could only imagine how big Wyatt was going to be. I
was going along in my labor when John noticed that every time I was having a
contraction his heart rate would go down and even then I never imagined what
was coming next. Our perfect world was going to be gone, the innocence of
nothing bad will happen, we will have a healthy baby and go on with our happy
family was now all gone. We ended up having to have an emergency c section
for his heart rate kept dropping. I remember one minute in the room in pain the
next every one was moving so fast to get me to the operating room. John called
my parents and they came down with Lexi and my brother Darrin and his
girlfriend Lori(which is now Wyatt and Lexi’s Tia Lori) When he was born they
had the pediatrician and everyone there waiting for him. As fast as he was born
they took him away I only saw a glimpse of him. We had made our decision to
have my tubes tied when I was pregnant with Wyatt. Due to my not dilating and
the diabetes (which I now am a diabetic not just gestational ) also because we
knew Wyatt was a boy and our family would now be complete we had a daughter
and son. We don’t regret the decision we had made for we do have our
daughter and son. Our precious daughter here with us and our son in our hearts.
They took me back to my room and everyone was with Wyatt. Then I looked up
and saw my husband and Dr. Saracco walking in together and I knew then it
couldn’t be good. They said the pediatrician thinks Wyatt may have a heart
problem and they called Children’s hospital in San Diego to life flight him over
there. They were on their way to come get our son and baby brother. I don’t know
if I was in shock or just put up a wall but I didn’t cry I just asked to see my son
before they took him away. John and everyone were in the room when they
wheeled Wyatt in to me in his little incubator and the Dr. from Children’s came in
and talked to me but all I wanted was my son. I asked if I could touch him and I
finally had touched my son. I didn’t get to hold him but I rubbed his arm and told
him Mommy would be there soon.
We are so lucky to have our family. John stayed with me for a couple of hours
while my parents and Lexi drove up and Johns mom met them their. My brother
Darrin and John left when John knew I would be o.k. and thank god Lori stayed
with me. She was my brother’s girlfriend but she went beyond what she had to.
She stayed with me that day and did things she should never have had to have
done for a boyfriends sister. She didn’t go to work she drove me up to San
Diego the next day and for that we will always be grateful.
Because I had my c section they wouldn’t let me leave that day but by the next
day Dr. Saracco knew I was not going to stay I needed to be with my son. They
let me go the day after he was born and I was finally going to be with the rest of
my family. I needed to be with John, Lexi and Wyatt. John had called me when
he got to San Diego and after he talked to the Dr’s and they said Wyatt had a
heart problem. At the time we didn’t know what it was. Once I made it up to San
Diego not being able to move around was hard but I just had to see my family.
The first time John took me up to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit I really didn’t
know what to expect. He told me I had to wash my hands, put on a cover and
then we had to walk through those double doors that became an everyday thing
for us. I walked in and saw all the machines and monitors going off but then they
wheeled me to where Wyatt was and to see him with all those wires and him
being hooked up to all those machines was so scary but I was finally with him.
His nurse Katherine let me hold him and that was difficult with all the wires but I
knew I had to have him in my arms. Katherine became a part of our family she
took care of Wyatt like he was her own. She even became his godmother when
we baptized him. She explained everything that was going on, what the numbers
meant, what the machines were for, the wires and did it with all the care in the
world. She will always be a part of our family.
I have to tell you before Wyatt was born I was very independent. Did things with
Lexi by myself. Drove to San Diego and other places and then when Wyatt was
born I was so scared, didn’t want to be alone. I became a very dependent
person. John had to be the strong one. He would go in with my dad for all the
meetings, all the consultations. I kept telling him I couldn’t do it I didn’t want to
hear any bad news from the Dr’s if it was anything bad I needed to hear it from
John. I am sure some of the nurses thought I should be in there but I just couldn’t
that was my way of coping with things. Wyatt was diagnosed with Hypoplastic
Left Heart Syndrome. He would need to have 3 surgeries. His first would be the
Norwood procedure. John asked what the odds were and they told him 50-50.
We decided to do the surgery we had to faith and a lot of praying that he would
make it through. When Wyatt was a week old he had open heart surgery. Oh
more machines, more wires he did not look like the baby we saw before the
surgery. We were so very lucky though that at every surgery, every complication,
our family was by our side. We had so much support from both sides of our
family. We would call and they would come. Wyatt was recovering and then an
infection on Thanksgiving Day and we walked into his room and saw everyone
around him and then we knew we almost lost him. Some of his toes turned black
and they didn’t know if he might even lose one of the toes. The night of Wyatt’s
first surgery we were sleeping in the waiting room when one of the other babies
mom comes running to the door and the nurses open the door and she
collapses her baby passed away. First time I ever had to experience that and
the only thing I could do was get all the strength I could gather and go to her. Hug
her and be there for her. I didn’t know her but I knew in this new world of ours that
could be us and I would want the same caring from someone else. When my son
was in there fighting for his life there was another precious baby gone.
Wyatt had some set backs and more surgeries to go. They had to do a surgery
for his kidney where they made an opening on the side of him to pee. Then a
surgery for a g-tube for my baby had reflux. Then a heart catherization which
was another scary thing. We spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years ,
birthdays at the hospital but we were there as a family. Every time there was a
surgery there was anxiety, fear and hope. I can say we never gave up no matter
what all the odds were against Wyatt we were positive we were not going to give
up on him. When we first were at the hospital they gave Wyatt this blue knitted
blanket and we always put it around him and every time he had a surgery I would
tell him I would hold on to his blankie and sleep with it until he could use it again. I
always had it with me and that blanket was always my connection with him.
Wyatt had been in the hospital from the day he was born to the end of January of
1998. We finally got to go home. He had gone through so much and we were
there every step of the way. I am so thankful that John never had to leave to go to
work. I use to tell him all the time to just take time off of work and he would say I
need to save my time just in case we need it some day. I am so happy he did
save it for he got to spend every day with his son just like I did and we will always
cherish that. We were so excited to go home. Lexi was with my parents and we
wanted to surprise her with her baby brother. We finally walked out of those
double doors with our son in our arms. We didn’t know for how long but we
would take as long as we could. Our car was so full of things for Wyatt. We
needed all his medications , a pump for his g-tube and all his stuffed animals
and toys . What a feeling it was. We were going to miss all of the nurses and Dr’
s but we could finally be home with both our children. We finally got to my parents
and the look on Lexi’s face was so special when she saw him all she wanted to
do was hold him.
We fell into a routine pretty well. With all of Wyatt’s medications and different
times of the day, and his formula we had to mix and the late nights it didn’t
bother us cause this was our family. Wyatt did so good. After everything he went
through he was so good. After everyone would leave to work and school I would
take Wyatt his bath (which he loved) and dress him. We would talk and play and
just cherish the time with him. My mom would come over in the mornings and
take Lexi to school and pick her up or she would stay with Wyatt while I would go
for we couldn’t really take him out. We had so much help from everyone. Lexi
would come home and never complain she would just go to the restroom and
wash her hands (we always had to wash our hands before holding him since we
couldn’t afford to get him sick) and come back and play with him and talk to him.
She had this was of talking to him that would calm him down. John would have
his late nights with Wyatt. He always remembers staying up late and watching
t.v. with him that was their daddy and son time.
We got to spend one holiday at home and that was Valentine’s Day. We
dressed them both up in red and took pictures of them. Finally a holiday at
home. Valentine’s Day is one of our favorite holiday’s for that was our holiday at
home together. We took Wyatt in the middle of February for his check up. On the
way up I just had this feeling in me that Wyatt was going to have to stay. John
tried to tell me it was just a check up. I just knew. We got there and when they
checked his oxygen stats and she picked up the phone to call the cardiologist
to come I knew we were staying. He came and checked him and sure enough
our son was being admitted. Lexi was waiting outside of the room and when I
went out to tell her all she said was Mommy I need you guys (that is when we
decided we were never going to be a part again) She was not going back to El
Centro without us. We decided to put her in school at Children’s.
I remember seeing John when they said we were staying. He looked so
shocked. I told him we needed to let family know. He had been so strong but this
time he said he couldn’t. I knew it was my turn to call everyone and let them know
and like always our families were there for us as soon as we called. They did
tests on him and called Dr’s from all over and decided it was time for another
heart surgery. We decided to get him baptized and while we never had Lexi
baptized it was a double baptizm. Pastor John from the hospital baptized them
both(we would of never had it any other way he had always been there for Wyatt
and us) My brother Darrin and John’s brother David were his godfathers and his
nurse(his second mommy) Katherine was his godmother. Lexi’s are my sister
Debbie and my brother in law William.
Then the day came for Wyatt to have his surgery. I so remember all our time with
him and the day before surgery just looking at him and taking in everything about
him. Lexi read to him, his daddy played with him but even how scared we were
we never thought he wouldn’t make it. I felt like if I gave into that it would tear me
up.
The whole time we were at the hospital and all his surgeries they use to tell me
to take his things with us because he might not be back at the same bed space
and I would always say No because if I took them I felt he wouldn’t be coming
back so they stayed and if he was moved we would then move them to his new
bed space.
To take our son in our arms and hand him over to the nurses next to the
operating room always broke my heart I would not want to let him go and this last
surgery just seemed like I couldn’t do it. With all my strength I had to let him go.
All our family gathered and we waited and waited. John and I were out by the
waiting room when we finally saw them come out with our son. He had machines
and wires and tubes everywhere. My heart sank my son was on ECMO(life
support) They always told us about ECMO and we had seen other babies on it
and we knew what it meant but to see it with our son we knew what it could
mean. After what seemed forever we finally got to see him. I knew all the
machines, tubes and wires were all over and tubes coming out of him but all I
could see was my beautiful son. Everything was so precise , two nurses had to
be there working the machine and taking care of him at all times. His bed had to
be at a certain level. Wyatt fought on so did Dr. Dudell. She slept by his bed
many of nights and for that she will always be in our hearts and forever grateful to
her.
We were with him at all times. Lexi’s birthday was three days after his surgery
and we just couldn’t let it go unnoticed. We know she would have understood but
we couldn’t do that to her. So we went and got her some presents and a cake
and back to the waiting room we went. The Dr’s and nurses were wonderful they
loved Lexi as much as they loved Wyatt. They gave her gifts to and Zoe’s
parents (one of Wyatt’s friends in the hospital) helped celebrate. Some of my
family went and together when it was a scary time for all of us we made Lexi feel
special and with all the love and support she had we celebrated her.
Wyatt had many complications and now seizures and cysts to contend with. Our
son and baby brother fought on. He did it with us right beside him. There were
so many stressful times to many to want to count when they would tell us they
were going to try and take him off but when they did they wouldn’t be able to put
him back on. How many times we would go in and say what we had to not
knowing if we were going to see him alive again. Every time for some reason it
couldn’t be done. We never got to see him with his eyes open or his smile again
for the last month of his life for being on ECMO they had to keep him sedated.
He opened them a little once we weren’t there but the Dr. got to take his picture.
We would go in and be with him and every night before we left to go to bed I
would tell him please Wyatt don’t leave mommy isn’t ready (something I never
told anyone until he passed away) We could tell they were giving him more blood
and the look on every ones faces that it was getting hard but they never gave up
and him he was as much theirs as he was ours.
My birthday is April 10th and my best present was my family was together. It
may have been in the hospital but we were together. They gave me this I.d.
bracelet with Wyatt’s name on it and John said for some reason he just knew he
had to get it with his name on it (Now all of us have one and we wear it everyday)
They had a cake for me in the back room but I didn’t care I was just happy my
family was with me. That night before we left I whispered to Wyatt thank you baby
boy for being with me.
I woke up the next day (we were living at the Ronald Mc Donald house) and I
asked John to call and see how Wyatt was doing. They said he had a hard night
kept giving him more blood. We got dressed and went down there. We almost
got to the N.I.C.U. when I just stopped and told John I couldn’t go in for him to go
in and come back and tell me. I waited outside then I saw him come and he said
let’s go for a walk. Dr. Dudell who never said there was no hope finally said
those words. We talked, walked, cried and both decided we had to let him go.
We went in the room I saw him then I needed to talk to Dr. Dudell. I asked her
how am I suppose to know to let him go. She told us a story in her life and she
said you need to ask are you keeping him on for him or for you. I asked if I could
hold him ( I hadn’t been able to hold him for over a month) . She said yes. The
other Dr. told me if I pick him up and the machine stops we could lose him then. I
had to hold him. I picked him and asked him Wyatt how is mommy suppose to
know ? The machine stopped and just as quick as it stopped it went back on.
Wyatt answered me. We couldn’t do the calling so Nicole (another one of Wyatt’
s favorite nurse) called our families and everyone came. Lexi was with my
brother David and they brought her to us and one of the worst moments was to
tell her Wyatt wasn’t coming home with us.
Everyone that could come was there for us and for Wyatt. Pastor John said
prayers. Then with all of us around him they started turning things off. I couldn’t
let him go with out one of us holding him so I picked him up and I remember
telling him how much we loved him and how proud we were of him and then he
took his last breath in my arms. The sound of his last breath will never go away.
Our son and baby brother was not hurting and in pain anymore. We took him to a
private room. John and I dressed him and John took his footprints and we said
everything to him that we should have had a lifetime to do. Everyone came in
and held him and said what they wanted to say to him and Lexi broke our hearts
when she asked us if we were coming back tomorrow(which was Easter day) to
see Wyatt. We had to tell her no. Everyone left and we stayed with him as long
as we could and then we walked through those double doors knowing that we
were leaving and taking our son with us in our hearts.
We would not go home without our son. We waited until Monday when the
mortuary came and picked him up and we followed them back to El Centro. We
were going back as a family as we have always done. His funeral I can honestly
say is somewhat foggy (we have a video which has helped) . Then again
everyone was there. My two brothers and John’s two brothers and my dad were
the pall bearers. Pastor John did his services and Katherine was there and all
our family and friends. At the cemetery we had a balloon launch and when the
balloons were let go some got stuck in the trees. That was my son. Wyatt did
things on his time and he fought hard to be with us and when the balloons fought
past those trees we knew Wyatt was there with us laughing at us and his little
joke.
Wyatt, you taught us so much and still do. When times get rough we think of what
you went through and we know we can get through it . You taught us to slow
down and enjoy life and take nothing for granted. You made us a stronger family.
There is so much more to you than those machines and your medical problems.
Your smile brightened the room. Your fascination with balloons and your sister’s
voice calming you down. Your laugh (all your pain and you could still laugh) those
beautiful blue eyes that said so much to us. Your love of laying on my chest or on
your daddy’s lap. We all looked past those machines and saw who you were the
person you were. You are our son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and to the
nurses and Dr’s you were their special baby.
Wyatt, there is not a day that goes by that one of us brings up your name. We
have pictures up of you and we all feel your love with us daily. We will not ever
forget you and all the love you gave us. You gave us so much more than we
could ever give you. Your family supports us in anything we want to do in your
name and on every birthday and anniversary they are there to support us and
remember you. Thank You baby for the memories, the love and for being the son
I always wanted. I know we wouldn’t trade the time we had with you for anything.
You made our family complete. When you are looking down at us and watching
over us know that all the love we had for you when you were with us continues
and always will. We love you Little Guy(daddy’s name for you), Pumpkin Boy
(mommy’s name for you),Papacitos(sissy’s name for you). This is not the end of
your story for we have our memories and you continue to live in us. You may be
gone from this earth but not from our hearts and lives. Sweet dreams our baby
boy.
and death. My husband has always been the one to write about him on our last
website but I think it is now my turn. He has done so much for us and now I would
like to do this for him since I know how hard it is and like always we are a team.
Here is the story of our son and baby brother.
Wyatt Johnathan Darrin Prince was born November 13, 1997. My pregnancy
with Wyatt was good. I was gestational diabetic so they always checked me. We
did know that Wyatt only had one kidney but people live with one kidney so our
son wouldn’t be able to play football or contact sports but he could still be a true
Raider fan with his daddy, sissy and me. They did check his heart we went twice
but our Wyatt probably didn’t want us worrying through the pregnancy for every
time they would go to check he would have his hand over his heart. They had me
in all different positions to try and get him to move it but we feel like Wyatt
wanted us to have a worry free pregnancy or he could be like his mommy and
just be stubborn.
It was during one of our trips to the ultrasound for his heart is when we decided
on his name. We had stopped after the appointment for lunch and we started
looking at the baby book and saw Wyatt (it means little warrior) that was it we
were done. Little did we know then how perfect it really was cause he ended up
living up to his name. He fought and used all his warrior strength to be with us.
We have him two middle names Johnathan after his daddy and Darrin after his
uncle and godfather. Let me tell you though the name Wyatt brought on a lot of
conversations. One of his aunts use to say Wyatt sounds like you are asking a
question (Why It?)
We were really excited about having another baby since it took us six years after
our daughter Alexis (Lexi). Lexi it had to sink in a little for we always told her she
was going to be the only child now we are telling her she will have a brother or
sister. The family was all excited and we just needed to prepare to start sharing
our love for another child one that was well worth the wait.
It was so nice to have my husband home for the full pregnancy for when I was
pregnant with Lexi he had to leave to Iraq. He was in the Marines and left to Iraq
right before the first war started. He came back four days after Lexi was born
thank god for my family being there to help me and my sister in the delivery room
with me. This time he would be able to experience it and I would have him there.
What an experience he had.
I was so scared to go through labor again. Lexi was 9lbs 11 oz and I didn’t want
to push out another big baby but Dr. Saracco said if I could have one big baby I
could have another. Oh I could only imagine how big Wyatt was going to be. I
was going along in my labor when John noticed that every time I was having a
contraction his heart rate would go down and even then I never imagined what
was coming next. Our perfect world was going to be gone, the innocence of
nothing bad will happen, we will have a healthy baby and go on with our happy
family was now all gone. We ended up having to have an emergency c section
for his heart rate kept dropping. I remember one minute in the room in pain the
next every one was moving so fast to get me to the operating room. John called
my parents and they came down with Lexi and my brother Darrin and his
girlfriend Lori(which is now Wyatt and Lexi’s Tia Lori) When he was born they
had the pediatrician and everyone there waiting for him. As fast as he was born
they took him away I only saw a glimpse of him. We had made our decision to
have my tubes tied when I was pregnant with Wyatt. Due to my not dilating and
the diabetes (which I now am a diabetic not just gestational ) also because we
knew Wyatt was a boy and our family would now be complete we had a daughter
and son. We don’t regret the decision we had made for we do have our
daughter and son. Our precious daughter here with us and our son in our hearts.
They took me back to my room and everyone was with Wyatt. Then I looked up
and saw my husband and Dr. Saracco walking in together and I knew then it
couldn’t be good. They said the pediatrician thinks Wyatt may have a heart
problem and they called Children’s hospital in San Diego to life flight him over
there. They were on their way to come get our son and baby brother. I don’t know
if I was in shock or just put up a wall but I didn’t cry I just asked to see my son
before they took him away. John and everyone were in the room when they
wheeled Wyatt in to me in his little incubator and the Dr. from Children’s came in
and talked to me but all I wanted was my son. I asked if I could touch him and I
finally had touched my son. I didn’t get to hold him but I rubbed his arm and told
him Mommy would be there soon.
We are so lucky to have our family. John stayed with me for a couple of hours
while my parents and Lexi drove up and Johns mom met them their. My brother
Darrin and John left when John knew I would be o.k. and thank god Lori stayed
with me. She was my brother’s girlfriend but she went beyond what she had to.
She stayed with me that day and did things she should never have had to have
done for a boyfriends sister. She didn’t go to work she drove me up to San
Diego the next day and for that we will always be grateful.
Because I had my c section they wouldn’t let me leave that day but by the next
day Dr. Saracco knew I was not going to stay I needed to be with my son. They
let me go the day after he was born and I was finally going to be with the rest of
my family. I needed to be with John, Lexi and Wyatt. John had called me when
he got to San Diego and after he talked to the Dr’s and they said Wyatt had a
heart problem. At the time we didn’t know what it was. Once I made it up to San
Diego not being able to move around was hard but I just had to see my family.
The first time John took me up to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit I really didn’t
know what to expect. He told me I had to wash my hands, put on a cover and
then we had to walk through those double doors that became an everyday thing
for us. I walked in and saw all the machines and monitors going off but then they
wheeled me to where Wyatt was and to see him with all those wires and him
being hooked up to all those machines was so scary but I was finally with him.
His nurse Katherine let me hold him and that was difficult with all the wires but I
knew I had to have him in my arms. Katherine became a part of our family she
took care of Wyatt like he was her own. She even became his godmother when
we baptized him. She explained everything that was going on, what the numbers
meant, what the machines were for, the wires and did it with all the care in the
world. She will always be a part of our family.
I have to tell you before Wyatt was born I was very independent. Did things with
Lexi by myself. Drove to San Diego and other places and then when Wyatt was
born I was so scared, didn’t want to be alone. I became a very dependent
person. John had to be the strong one. He would go in with my dad for all the
meetings, all the consultations. I kept telling him I couldn’t do it I didn’t want to
hear any bad news from the Dr’s if it was anything bad I needed to hear it from
John. I am sure some of the nurses thought I should be in there but I just couldn’t
that was my way of coping with things. Wyatt was diagnosed with Hypoplastic
Left Heart Syndrome. He would need to have 3 surgeries. His first would be the
Norwood procedure. John asked what the odds were and they told him 50-50.
We decided to do the surgery we had to faith and a lot of praying that he would
make it through. When Wyatt was a week old he had open heart surgery. Oh
more machines, more wires he did not look like the baby we saw before the
surgery. We were so very lucky though that at every surgery, every complication,
our family was by our side. We had so much support from both sides of our
family. We would call and they would come. Wyatt was recovering and then an
infection on Thanksgiving Day and we walked into his room and saw everyone
around him and then we knew we almost lost him. Some of his toes turned black
and they didn’t know if he might even lose one of the toes. The night of Wyatt’s
first surgery we were sleeping in the waiting room when one of the other babies
mom comes running to the door and the nurses open the door and she
collapses her baby passed away. First time I ever had to experience that and
the only thing I could do was get all the strength I could gather and go to her. Hug
her and be there for her. I didn’t know her but I knew in this new world of ours that
could be us and I would want the same caring from someone else. When my son
was in there fighting for his life there was another precious baby gone.
Wyatt had some set backs and more surgeries to go. They had to do a surgery
for his kidney where they made an opening on the side of him to pee. Then a
surgery for a g-tube for my baby had reflux. Then a heart catherization which
was another scary thing. We spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years ,
birthdays at the hospital but we were there as a family. Every time there was a
surgery there was anxiety, fear and hope. I can say we never gave up no matter
what all the odds were against Wyatt we were positive we were not going to give
up on him. When we first were at the hospital they gave Wyatt this blue knitted
blanket and we always put it around him and every time he had a surgery I would
tell him I would hold on to his blankie and sleep with it until he could use it again. I
always had it with me and that blanket was always my connection with him.
Wyatt had been in the hospital from the day he was born to the end of January of
1998. We finally got to go home. He had gone through so much and we were
there every step of the way. I am so thankful that John never had to leave to go to
work. I use to tell him all the time to just take time off of work and he would say I
need to save my time just in case we need it some day. I am so happy he did
save it for he got to spend every day with his son just like I did and we will always
cherish that. We were so excited to go home. Lexi was with my parents and we
wanted to surprise her with her baby brother. We finally walked out of those
double doors with our son in our arms. We didn’t know for how long but we
would take as long as we could. Our car was so full of things for Wyatt. We
needed all his medications , a pump for his g-tube and all his stuffed animals
and toys . What a feeling it was. We were going to miss all of the nurses and Dr’
s but we could finally be home with both our children. We finally got to my parents
and the look on Lexi’s face was so special when she saw him all she wanted to
do was hold him.
We fell into a routine pretty well. With all of Wyatt’s medications and different
times of the day, and his formula we had to mix and the late nights it didn’t
bother us cause this was our family. Wyatt did so good. After everything he went
through he was so good. After everyone would leave to work and school I would
take Wyatt his bath (which he loved) and dress him. We would talk and play and
just cherish the time with him. My mom would come over in the mornings and
take Lexi to school and pick her up or she would stay with Wyatt while I would go
for we couldn’t really take him out. We had so much help from everyone. Lexi
would come home and never complain she would just go to the restroom and
wash her hands (we always had to wash our hands before holding him since we
couldn’t afford to get him sick) and come back and play with him and talk to him.
She had this was of talking to him that would calm him down. John would have
his late nights with Wyatt. He always remembers staying up late and watching
t.v. with him that was their daddy and son time.
We got to spend one holiday at home and that was Valentine’s Day. We
dressed them both up in red and took pictures of them. Finally a holiday at
home. Valentine’s Day is one of our favorite holiday’s for that was our holiday at
home together. We took Wyatt in the middle of February for his check up. On the
way up I just had this feeling in me that Wyatt was going to have to stay. John
tried to tell me it was just a check up. I just knew. We got there and when they
checked his oxygen stats and she picked up the phone to call the cardiologist
to come I knew we were staying. He came and checked him and sure enough
our son was being admitted. Lexi was waiting outside of the room and when I
went out to tell her all she said was Mommy I need you guys (that is when we
decided we were never going to be a part again) She was not going back to El
Centro without us. We decided to put her in school at Children’s.
I remember seeing John when they said we were staying. He looked so
shocked. I told him we needed to let family know. He had been so strong but this
time he said he couldn’t. I knew it was my turn to call everyone and let them know
and like always our families were there for us as soon as we called. They did
tests on him and called Dr’s from all over and decided it was time for another
heart surgery. We decided to get him baptized and while we never had Lexi
baptized it was a double baptizm. Pastor John from the hospital baptized them
both(we would of never had it any other way he had always been there for Wyatt
and us) My brother Darrin and John’s brother David were his godfathers and his
nurse(his second mommy) Katherine was his godmother. Lexi’s are my sister
Debbie and my brother in law William.
Then the day came for Wyatt to have his surgery. I so remember all our time with
him and the day before surgery just looking at him and taking in everything about
him. Lexi read to him, his daddy played with him but even how scared we were
we never thought he wouldn’t make it. I felt like if I gave into that it would tear me
up.
The whole time we were at the hospital and all his surgeries they use to tell me
to take his things with us because he might not be back at the same bed space
and I would always say No because if I took them I felt he wouldn’t be coming
back so they stayed and if he was moved we would then move them to his new
bed space.
To take our son in our arms and hand him over to the nurses next to the
operating room always broke my heart I would not want to let him go and this last
surgery just seemed like I couldn’t do it. With all my strength I had to let him go.
All our family gathered and we waited and waited. John and I were out by the
waiting room when we finally saw them come out with our son. He had machines
and wires and tubes everywhere. My heart sank my son was on ECMO(life
support) They always told us about ECMO and we had seen other babies on it
and we knew what it meant but to see it with our son we knew what it could
mean. After what seemed forever we finally got to see him. I knew all the
machines, tubes and wires were all over and tubes coming out of him but all I
could see was my beautiful son. Everything was so precise , two nurses had to
be there working the machine and taking care of him at all times. His bed had to
be at a certain level. Wyatt fought on so did Dr. Dudell. She slept by his bed
many of nights and for that she will always be in our hearts and forever grateful to
her.
We were with him at all times. Lexi’s birthday was three days after his surgery
and we just couldn’t let it go unnoticed. We know she would have understood but
we couldn’t do that to her. So we went and got her some presents and a cake
and back to the waiting room we went. The Dr’s and nurses were wonderful they
loved Lexi as much as they loved Wyatt. They gave her gifts to and Zoe’s
parents (one of Wyatt’s friends in the hospital) helped celebrate. Some of my
family went and together when it was a scary time for all of us we made Lexi feel
special and with all the love and support she had we celebrated her.
Wyatt had many complications and now seizures and cysts to contend with. Our
son and baby brother fought on. He did it with us right beside him. There were
so many stressful times to many to want to count when they would tell us they
were going to try and take him off but when they did they wouldn’t be able to put
him back on. How many times we would go in and say what we had to not
knowing if we were going to see him alive again. Every time for some reason it
couldn’t be done. We never got to see him with his eyes open or his smile again
for the last month of his life for being on ECMO they had to keep him sedated.
He opened them a little once we weren’t there but the Dr. got to take his picture.
We would go in and be with him and every night before we left to go to bed I
would tell him please Wyatt don’t leave mommy isn’t ready (something I never
told anyone until he passed away) We could tell they were giving him more blood
and the look on every ones faces that it was getting hard but they never gave up
and him he was as much theirs as he was ours.
My birthday is April 10th and my best present was my family was together. It
may have been in the hospital but we were together. They gave me this I.d.
bracelet with Wyatt’s name on it and John said for some reason he just knew he
had to get it with his name on it (Now all of us have one and we wear it everyday)
They had a cake for me in the back room but I didn’t care I was just happy my
family was with me. That night before we left I whispered to Wyatt thank you baby
boy for being with me.
I woke up the next day (we were living at the Ronald Mc Donald house) and I
asked John to call and see how Wyatt was doing. They said he had a hard night
kept giving him more blood. We got dressed and went down there. We almost
got to the N.I.C.U. when I just stopped and told John I couldn’t go in for him to go
in and come back and tell me. I waited outside then I saw him come and he said
let’s go for a walk. Dr. Dudell who never said there was no hope finally said
those words. We talked, walked, cried and both decided we had to let him go.
We went in the room I saw him then I needed to talk to Dr. Dudell. I asked her
how am I suppose to know to let him go. She told us a story in her life and she
said you need to ask are you keeping him on for him or for you. I asked if I could
hold him ( I hadn’t been able to hold him for over a month) . She said yes. The
other Dr. told me if I pick him up and the machine stops we could lose him then. I
had to hold him. I picked him and asked him Wyatt how is mommy suppose to
know ? The machine stopped and just as quick as it stopped it went back on.
Wyatt answered me. We couldn’t do the calling so Nicole (another one of Wyatt’
s favorite nurse) called our families and everyone came. Lexi was with my
brother David and they brought her to us and one of the worst moments was to
tell her Wyatt wasn’t coming home with us.
Everyone that could come was there for us and for Wyatt. Pastor John said
prayers. Then with all of us around him they started turning things off. I couldn’t
let him go with out one of us holding him so I picked him up and I remember
telling him how much we loved him and how proud we were of him and then he
took his last breath in my arms. The sound of his last breath will never go away.
Our son and baby brother was not hurting and in pain anymore. We took him to a
private room. John and I dressed him and John took his footprints and we said
everything to him that we should have had a lifetime to do. Everyone came in
and held him and said what they wanted to say to him and Lexi broke our hearts
when she asked us if we were coming back tomorrow(which was Easter day) to
see Wyatt. We had to tell her no. Everyone left and we stayed with him as long
as we could and then we walked through those double doors knowing that we
were leaving and taking our son with us in our hearts.
We would not go home without our son. We waited until Monday when the
mortuary came and picked him up and we followed them back to El Centro. We
were going back as a family as we have always done. His funeral I can honestly
say is somewhat foggy (we have a video which has helped) . Then again
everyone was there. My two brothers and John’s two brothers and my dad were
the pall bearers. Pastor John did his services and Katherine was there and all
our family and friends. At the cemetery we had a balloon launch and when the
balloons were let go some got stuck in the trees. That was my son. Wyatt did
things on his time and he fought hard to be with us and when the balloons fought
past those trees we knew Wyatt was there with us laughing at us and his little
joke.
Wyatt, you taught us so much and still do. When times get rough we think of what
you went through and we know we can get through it . You taught us to slow
down and enjoy life and take nothing for granted. You made us a stronger family.
There is so much more to you than those machines and your medical problems.
Your smile brightened the room. Your fascination with balloons and your sister’s
voice calming you down. Your laugh (all your pain and you could still laugh) those
beautiful blue eyes that said so much to us. Your love of laying on my chest or on
your daddy’s lap. We all looked past those machines and saw who you were the
person you were. You are our son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and to the
nurses and Dr’s you were their special baby.
Wyatt, there is not a day that goes by that one of us brings up your name. We
have pictures up of you and we all feel your love with us daily. We will not ever
forget you and all the love you gave us. You gave us so much more than we
could ever give you. Your family supports us in anything we want to do in your
name and on every birthday and anniversary they are there to support us and
remember you. Thank You baby for the memories, the love and for being the son
I always wanted. I know we wouldn’t trade the time we had with you for anything.
You made our family complete. When you are looking down at us and watching
over us know that all the love we had for you when you were with us continues
and always will. We love you Little Guy(daddy’s name for you), Pumpkin Boy
(mommy’s name for you),Papacitos(sissy’s name for you). This is not the end of
your story for we have our memories and you continue to live in us. You may be
gone from this earth but not from our hearts and lives. Sweet dreams our baby
boy.
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